Leading the Conversation by Dean Brior
Your mission is to help people discover God. They will discover God through his word, his spirit, and the people God brings into their lives. You have the privilege of partnering with God and watching Him work in your life group.
One of the goals of your life group is creating a safe place for people to experience fellowship. People become comfortable at different times based on personalities and current life experiences. Give the the time they need.
A statement you can make to your group is “This year we will work to create a safe place for all of you to experience God’s love, mercy, grace, and forgiveness” None of us are at the end of our journey, so we are all here to learn and grow together. BALANCE WITH IRON SHARPENING IRON
Once a person feels safe, they will take the risk to share honestly. Let them get there in their own time. Some take longer than others.
How do you encourage honest sharing?
Do it yourself, and others will follow. Your vulnerability gives others the confidence to do the same.
Use icebreakers to make people relax and laugh a little. This will create conversation and make shy people feel the people in this group might be safe to share with.
You will have all kinds of personalities in your group. We will talk about the babbling brooks and the deep pools PERSONALITY PROFILE
Babbling brooks love to share. They will share any time about anything. Why do they do that? Sometimes it;s pride, sometimes it’s nervousness, sometimes it’s loneliness. Sometimes it’s a genuine desire to share in a safe place.
Deep pools will remain quiet and introverted. They will observe, listen, and contribute as little as possible. Not always because they are afraid to, it is a combination of personality and life experience. They usually have good things to share, it just takes time to make them feel safe to share. Always compliment them when they share.
What do you do with a babbling brook?
Set the parameters the first meeting, then emphasize them as needed.
“While we want everyone to participate, be aware that your time may not allow for somebody else to share. Take time to come up with answers that are thoughtful, we really want to hear what you are thinking”.
“When we get to prayer requests, we want you to limit them to you, your family, NOT your aunt milley in Florida that has a wart getting removed next week. This is your place to give us what we need to care for you and love you”.
“If I feel you’re getting into the weeds, I may interrupt and ask others what they think about what you just said. Don’t take it personal, I’m just trying to get everybody involved”.
“We are all learning to understand and live out biblical principles. This will call all of us to adjust some of our current mindset. You will never be hammered by others for your answers. We are all growing together”
When sharing about the bible teaching time, create the culture where you invite all the people to share, not just allowing the babbling brooks to jump in. Do this by starting with a person to your left and going around. Let people say “pass” if they aren’t willing to share. OR just ask people randomly so the babbling brook can’t steal the show.
Deep Pools:
Ask the deep pools what they think, but only after you have won them over. This may take one on one coffee dates, or couple dates to develop a relationship of trust and respect.
Ask Deep pools to read the scripture, but not have to share what they think. Just reading will get them involved without making them get stressed.
Ask open ended questions, allowing for a person to answer without having to come up with a right or wrong answer.
When did you see this happen in your life?
How does this help you in a situation In your life?
Where do you see this helping you this week?
How can this verse help you in your walk?
Have hand raising questions so people can participate without having the spotlight on them.
how many people have had this happen in their life?
who has seen the trend in their family?
Split off into smaller groups where deep pools can share with less spotlight. We have guys and girls split up for a time of prayer and the guys share a lot more in this group.
How do you correct a wrong answer? Yes there are wrong answers!!
IF someone says something you know is biblicaly wrong, don’t agree with them, but don’t hammer them either.
Romans 5:1 says “Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ” What does it mean to be justified?
They answer- “Doing enough good works to have God accept you”
How do you respond? “ Okay Sarah, thanks, somebody else?” Ask somebody you think can give the right answer. Sarah will listen and learn which is what you want. make sure you get to the right answer before moving on. This allows for people to learn and not be embarrassed. We are all at different places on our journey. Your group will not know all the right answers, that is why we are learning together.
When it is time to throw out the study and listen-
Someone may have to unload a burden to the group. They are hurting and need to be heard. Your love, mercy and grace will bring healing and grow your group in ways a nice, neat study never could. Just don’t make this a habit every week.